Workplace Bullies

Hello Everyone

The focus of quite a bit of my work lately has been workplace bullying and harassment.  Times have changed and everyone in my part of the world is now entitled to work without fear or prejudice.  That’s the theory and policy, but in reality bullying and harassment are still evident.

Workplace bullying is seen as a genuine threat to occupational health and safety throughout Australia.  It can cause grave psychological injury and can destroy:

1.       a person’s ability to work

2.       their sense of self

3.       relationships at home and work

4.       productivity targets

The other costs of bullying include stress and absenteeism.

What is bullying? In Australia it is “unacceptable repeated behaviour that may cause harm”.  Unfortunately it seems to becoming endemic because of economic pressures and the institutional nature of many work cultures.

Unfortunately many work cultures have allowed bullying to exist because of a lack of resources, lack of accountability, poor people management skills, and poor management of policies and procedures.

Bullies are often insecure and afraid of being seen as incompetent.  They will do anything to survive even if it includes destroying the life of others.  In the end it is the leaders who must take a stand and ensure that all people are treated with respect .

Bullying is a form of assault and it is unlikely to stop until there are severe consequences for the bully.

Here some ideas from Family Matters - Practical Parenting Blog to manage bullying.

Remember  a bullying act against you is not your fault. Every bully is weak.

1. Never accept the belief that someone hurt you because of something you have (not) done
2. Stay away from them if you can.
3. Sometimes, you can’t  if it is your boss. In that case, lower your profile for a while and avoid friction until you find a solution.
4. Try to work with others in the same space. Bullies pick on you more when you are by yourself.
5. If you know of spaces that are targeted by bullies (toilet, eating area) go there with someone else.
6. Get to work earlier or later to avoid contact with them..
7. If a bully approaches you, say, "I need to go" and leave before they have a chance to say anything.
8. Do a good job, because that will limit the supply of ammunition bullies have against you. Remember that bullies look for weaknesses, so doing a great job is not a guarantee you will not be bullied, but this will give you some confidence to fight back. Much of your status in the workplace is based on the quality of your work.
9. Be accurate with your time. It will decrease the amount of ammunition bullies have against you.
10. Do not share secrets with people that may tell the bully.
11. Get along with your boss. Many times, the bully is the boss, so if you are on his or her side, you are not a target. Even when the bully is someone else, your boss can be your best ally at work.
12. There are many jobs out there. If things get out of control, find another job.
13. Learn to take things in proportion. Not every conflict at work is bullying.
14. If someone bribes you, be careful. This is a trap. When you have been bribed once, you have a weakness that can be exploited
15. When there is verbal bullying, ignore it! Do not say anything in return because this says you are vulnerable. This is how bullies know it affects you - they say it once and you get angry, so they he know this is your weakness.
16. Whatever happens, do not fight back!
17. Humour is a good way to diminish an act of bullying.
18. Do not take your anger and frustration out on your partner and kids.
19. Tell someone you trust about the bullying done to you.
20. Understand that telling on someone who is a bully is not ratting. If you do not do it for yourself, think of other people who might get hurt next.
21. When you walk, do not look at your feet. This sends a message to bullies that you are fearful and makes you a target. Pay attention to your body language in general, because looking slack or weak might trigger aggressive behavior in other people.
22. Look people in the eye, because it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
23. Smile a lot. Again, it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
24. Keep a journal. To prevent you from getting depressed, write your feelings and thoughts in a journal. Keep it safe and if you are afraid of it being seen, you can use the computer and put it in a document that no one can open. If you ever need to recall bullying events, your journal will be invaluable.
25. Learn to be assertive. Express your needs, thoughts and desires clearly, but without hurting anyone else. Assertiveness projects self confidence and keeps you away from bullies. This is a skill you will need for the rest of your life as well.
26. When you speak, keep a steady voice. If your voice breaks, it sends a message that you are afraid.
27. Never argue with a bully. Bullies create the conflicts to make you upset.
28. When you are scared, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" Often, you will realize that in the worst-case scenario, someone will say something unpleasant to you or about you, but it can be ignored, so it is not so bad.

Live! Love! Laugh!  Stay cool!

Roz Townsend

www.roztownsend.com

Intuitive morality

Hello Everyone

In Australia it is often assumed that people are more concerned about their own self–interest than the welfare of others. In fact in many sales programs there is a joke that people are tuned into the radio station 2WIIFM meaning – 2 What’s In It For Me?

Moral psychologists (did you know this is a new profession?) have been studying the political preferences of voters. Their research has thrown up an interesting finding namely that self-interest is a weak predictor of voters’ policy preferences. The reason seems to be that people care more about the group they belong to than themselves. It is their membership of their given social group (racial, religious, political or regional) and their loyalty to it that carries the most weight.

One researcher, Haidt from the University of Virginia has coined a new term ‘homo duplex’. By this he means that humans exist at two levels: as an individual and also as part of a larger group. It is our ‘groupishness’ which helps us be team players.

According to Haidt, one of the hardest problems humans face is cooperation without kinship. It seems to be instinctive to cooperate with direct relatives. But in the wider group there is a temptation for some members to enjoy the benefits of membership without contributing. Hence norms and morality evolved to ensure group cohesiveness.

The concerns for morality and group cohesion seem to cut across all cultures and groups – the difference is in their interpretation. For example all groups seem to be concerned about the issue of fairness versus cheating. All people should be rewarded or punished in proportion to their deeds. This plays out in drastically different ways in different cultures with some being totally in favour of capital punishment and others abhorring that level of punishment.

The research highlights the need to consider people in light of their context and circumstances. The importance of them maintaining or enhancing their status with their chosen group will be a major determinant in their behaviour. It won’t be just self-interest.

Live! Love! Laugh! Take care of others!

Roz Townsend

www.roztownsend.com

Is "away' just another word?

Hello Everyone

According to the Global Language Monitor and Google we now have more than a million words in the English language.

The millionth word was the controversial ‘Web 2.0′. Currently there is a new word created every 98 minutes or about 14.7 words per day!

Some other interesting numbers include: 6,912 for the number of living languages; 516 for the number of those languages that are nearly extinct.   Chinese Mandarin is the language with the greatest number of native speakers and English is spoken by about 300 million non-native English speakers.

With all of this interesting information about the English language, there is just one word that I would like you to consider right now.  The word is ‘away’.  We use this word with such abandon but very few of us have given any thought to the implications of its usage, especially if we looking at having a sustainable world.

We often say we are throwing something ‘away’ but I and other environmentally conscious people are asking where is away? 

When that challenge was first brought to my attention I was taken aback. I used the word as much as anyone else but had never really considered where is away?

In fact there is no ‘away’.  Many things we create on planet Earth do not go away.  They might change form or move to another area but they do not go away.  To even think they might disappear is doing our intelligence a great disservice!

You might like to consider over the next few days which other words we have taken for granted without really considering their implications.

                                 

Think!  Live!  Love!  Laugh!

 Roz Townsend

Take a Break

Hello Everyone

 At a basic gut level most of us know that it is good to take a break and refresh ourselves rather than staying at the one activity for too long.  The latest research about taking breaks as the secret to success might just capture people’s attention.

Practise improves performance and perfect practise can achieve excellent results.  But doing too much practice might impede progress and could end up making things worse.  Cognitive neuroscientists at the University of NSW in Sydney found that if you keep studying for many hours without a break you don’t get a learning benefit.

Not only does consolidation of memory occur when we sleep but the researchers are the first to show that it happens when we are awake.

It is commonly believed by scientists that the brain consolidates a new skill by making new connections between the neurons - a type of ‘re-wiring’ process known as neural plasticity.

Practising without a break appears to disrupt this consolidation process.

Brain breaks as mentioned allow time for consolidation, time to:

breathe

• relax
• recharge
• refocus

Breaks energise, enthuse and re-ignite tired or busy minds. It is interesting to note that regular brain breaks are an important feature of accelerated learning programs.

This might be a timely reminder for you to stop what you are doing and have a stretch or get a glass of water.  Move away from your chair and get some exercise.

Take a break!  Live!  Love!  Laugh!

Roz Townsend

You Can Positively Control Your Life with Positivity

Hello Everyone

There is a scientifically proven ratio of positive emotions to negative emotions that can determine if we are flourishing or languishing! The work of Friedrickson in her book Positivity explains how and why.

Positive emotions created by things like good news, praise, happy events and affirming comments whereas negative emotions are caused by things as gossip, anxiety, bad news and stress.

When we experience positive emotions in a 3-to-1 ratio to negative emotions people achieve what they once could only dream about. Tapping into our own unique sources of positivity is not new-age hokey pokey but rather it is a wise and healthy investment in the future.

The scientific evidence that Fredirickson applies confirms that a positive state of mind can enhance our relationships, improve our health, relieve depression, and broaden our minds.  Positivity is far more specific than happiness. It includes anything that makes a person feel good or better such as love, appreciation, amusement, joy, hope, gratitude.  Positivity can be seen in softened faces, generous hearts, relaxed limbs, broadened minds, a sense of humour and a possibility for the future.

It is profound to think that adopting a positive attitude and mindful attention to those things that increase our sense of well-being can really move us from languishing to flourishing.

Fredrickson even uses the metaphor of a sailing ship where they found the mast to keel ratio was 3:1.  We need some negativity to be grounded in reality but we can all flourish if our attention is on developing a greater level of positivity.

For many people negativity is just a habit.  However when people meditate daily on opening their minds and heart to all that is good around them, then they can tip the balance and experience a greater level of positivity.  An experience that most people do want but are unable to obtain.

If you would like to check out your own ratio go to Dr Fredrickson’s site http://www.positivityratio.com/ and start some of her exercises.

Live! Laugh! Love!  Be Positive!

Roz Townsend   www.roztownsend.com

Gossip Does NOT Work

Hello Everyone

My work in helping organisations bring about cultural change has had me really thinking about workplace gossip.  Beth Weissenberger points out that gossip may sound innocent but if not addressed can undermine team spirit and impact productivity.

Complaining about other workers or whining about work-related issues without being prepared to do something about them is a form of sabotage within the organisation.

Workplace gossip is often a form of bullying and harassment.  It leads to anything but a cohesive workplace.  This is why productive, harmonious companies have a policy of zero tolerance towards gossip.  To be effective, the ban must come from the top down.

Beth Weissenberger says part of the new agreement between co-workers means that everyone has a responsibility to remind others when they are gossiping.  Everyone also needs to establish that they're not interested in taking part in gossip,  And finally everyone needs to encourage each other to go directly to the person who can do something about it.

Being both the gossiper and listener are not acceptable. Gossip does not exist without an audience!  And gossip will not exist if there is honest, open and responsive communication within the organisation.

People need to feel safe and supported to hold each-other to account regarding gossip.  This is best done in a friendly way.  Rather than blaming and making someone wrong, it is more powerful to say ‘it does not work to gossip’.

A study by Georgia Tech indicates how unproductive gossip is.  It found that nearly 15 per cent of internal emails were based only on office gossip.  These emails were about other co-workers who were not included in the email conversation.  Sadly, everyone from the CEO down was doing it.  The negative gossip outweighed the positive 3:1. 
The study also pointed out that the average corporate email user sends 112 emails each day.

If only people would consider the importance of getting the truth or talking directly to the people involved or only passing on positive gossip.  Passing on positive comments about others, for example, enhances one’s own reputation as much as the person being commented on.

Live! Laugh! Love!  Communicate Openly!

Roz Townsend   www.roztownsend.com

PS my next article will appear in August as I will be doing book promotion work in Bucharest and cycling along the Danube.

Gossip DOes Not Work

Hello Everyone

 My work in helping organisations bring about cultural change has had me really thinking about workplace gossip.  Beth Weissenberger points out that gossip may sound innocent but if not addressed can undermine team spirit and impact productivity.

Complaining about other workers or whining about work-related issues without being prepared to do something about them is a form of sabotage within the organisation.

Workplace gossip is often a form of bullying and harassment.  It leads to anything but a cohesive workplace.  This is why productive, harmonious companies have a policy of zero tolerance towards gossip.  To be effective, the ban must come from the top down.

Beth Weissenberger says part of the new agreement between co-workers means that everyone has a responsibility to remind others when they are gossiping.  Everyone also needs to establish that they're not interested in taking part in gossip,  And finally everyone needs to encourage each other to go directly to the person who can do something about it.

Being both the gossiper and listener are not acceptable. Gossip does not exist without an audience!  And gossip will not exist if there is honest, open and responsive communication within the organisation.

People need to feel safe and supported to hold each-other to account regarding gossip.  This is best done in a friendly way.  Rather than blaming and making someone wrong, it is more powerful to say ‘it does not work to gossip’.

A study by Georgia Tech indicates how unproductive gossip is.  It found that nearly 15 per cent of internal emails were based only on office gossip.  These emails were about other co-workers who were not included in the email conversation.  Sadly, everyone from the CEO down was doing it.  The negative gossip outweighed the positive 3:1. 
The study also pointed out that the average corporate email user sends 112 emails each day.

If only people would consider the importance of getting the truth or talking directly to the people involved or only passing on positive gossip.  Passing on positive comments about others, for example, enhances one’s own reputation as much as the person being commented on.

Live! Laugh! Love!  Communicate Openly!
Roz Townsend   www.roztownsend.com

PS my next article will appear in August as I will be doing book promotion work in Bucharest and cycling along the Danube.