Extrovert? Introvert? or Ambivert?

 Hello Everyone

Many of you no doubt follow the Socratean philosophy that an ‘unexamined life is not worth living’. That is perhaps one reason why you read articles like this. It is likely that, like me, you have already experienced many personality assessment tools and have a fair idea of who you are and your impact on others.

It was with some surprise then when I came across another distinction.  This for me seemed to be a missing link.  It is the term ambivert.  Ambiverts are between extreme introverts and extroverts, their personality traits include the qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

In business this distinction is becoming more important.  Initially, it was thought that extroverted people do best in sales.  The assumption was that extremely introverted people can’t sell anything. The impact on extrovert/introvert in business has become quite an area of interest.  Very recently, emphasis has been on introverts and their success in business.  Introverts tend to think before they speak, pay more attention, get the facts first and are less likely to embellish or gloss over the details. 

Research is coming up with the importance of having both traits of extroversion and introversion.  In purely economic terms, the University of Pennsylvania found that ambiverts made 24% more sales than introverts and 32% more sales than extroverts.

 
The examined life allows one to consider what is missing or where balance needs to be created.  You probably already know your particular personality trait and how to introduce alternative ways of doing things.  The question to consider is  or not you are aware of the impact and if your choices are made consciously.

If you would like a quick assessment of whether you are an ambivert take Dan Pink’s online assessment http://www.danpink.com/assessment

 Choose! Live! Love!

Roz Townsend www.roztownsend.com

Thinking and Drinking

Hello Everyone

There used to be a funny phrase from the controversial English comedy TV show Monty Python’s Flying Circus.  It was I drink therefore I am! It was a send up of Descartes’ famous I think therefore I am.

It was in part a comment on the amount of alcohol people drank and its impact on their lives.  But drink and the types of beverages we consume have played an exceptionally important role in the history of humanity.

Richard Glover points out that the popularity of tea drinking in the 17^th century was a crucial factor in the expansion of the slave trade. Tea along with sugar to sweeten the drink also required vast plantations which then led to the slave trade.

Coffee on the other hand is said to have led to the enlightenment.   Evidently coffee houses took over from pubs as meeting places.  The nature of conversations changed as people were no longer intoxicated and rational thought took hold.

Just last week in New Zealand it was reported that a woman died from overdosing on Coke – she drank up to ten litres a day!

Is it time to consider the unintended consequences of what we drink?  Many of us with pets would only give them water. We would be mortified to think of someone giving them milky, sugary tea or a cappuccino or a gin and tonic or coke. Yet this is what many of us do each day to our own bodies.

What would our mental, physical, emotional and rational health be like if we only drank rain juice? The drink of champions?  Water?  And what is it like for so many in the world who do not have access to it? 

Drink water! Live! Love!

Roz Townsend www.roztownsend.com

Reference:

Richard Glover            The Sydney Morning Herald 9 Feb 2013

Classics - Brain Boosters

 Hello Everyone

 Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?  Are you reading all of the good motivational books (including mine) to get you going?

Well, the research indicates that I, like many other self-help writers, might have to move aside whilst you take on some of the greatest writers.  Evidently, for English speakers it would be the works of Shakespeare and Wordsworth. Other countries have their own classics – the key point is that they are incredible brain boosters.

Academics from Liverpool University found that reading the works of some of the great writers benefitted the mind by focussing the readers’ attention and creating moments of self-analysis.

 Brain scans of those reading the classics showed that as the brain took on more challenging work such as prose and poetry there was a greater level of electrical activity.  This activity increased as the brain encountered unusual words, surprising phrases or difficult sentence structures.

The research found that poetry, in particular, increased activity in the right hemisphere of the brain, an area concerned with ”autobiographical memory”.  Triggering this area helped the reader to reflect or reappraise their own experiences in light of what they had read.  According to the academics, this meant the classics were more helpful than self-help books.

 Literature has the power to shift mental pathways, to create new thoughts, shapes and connections!

Perhaps this article might convince you to add to your resolutions some of the classics from your own culture.

 Read! Live! Love!

Roz Townsend www.roztownsend.com

Reference:

Julie Henry  ‘Classic way to turbo-boost the brain’

Telegraph London January 2013

Christmas 'Presence'

Hello Everyone

With Christmas in the western world many of us thinking about which present to get for those we love.  My challenge is to really get you thinking about which present.

The Australia Institute from their surveys and Adele Horin found out that last Christmas 6 million Australians received one or more presents they never used or later gave away.

The survey also found that more than one in four respondents expect that some of the presents they give will be put in the back cupboard.

Unwanted presents represent a waste of time, money and resources to the value of $798 million each year.

The Director of the Institute also pointed out that our culture of obligatory giving only brings joy to the big retailers and the big banks.  The banks are mentioned because of the habit of funding gifts by use of credit cards.

Unfortunately the survey also found that one quarter of Australians expect to give presents to people they would prefer not to.  And a quarter of these reluctant givers were also unable to pay their credit card debt!

In other words about 1 million Australians are spending money they don’t have to buy presents they’d rather not give.

But the news is not all grim. Nearly four in five respondents would be happy for a donation to be made to a charity on their behalf instead of getting a present.

But most psychologists and relationship counsellors will agree that the best gift you can give someone is your own presence – spending time, making eye contact and really listening to the ones you love.

By this I mean not worrying about how to fix their problems or how soon you can interrupt their talking.  But rather just being present and wanting to hear what they have to say.

For those of us who have ever experienced the first flush of love it is that presence.  It is when you hear whatever that other person is saying as gold and music to your ears without judgement, comment or criticism.  This presence is the rarest of all.  It is the cheapest and the most valuable present you can give.

 Be present! Live! Love!

Roz Townsend www.roztownsend.com

 

Workplace Bullies

Hello Everyone

The focus of quite a bit of my work lately has been workplace bullying and harassment.  Times have changed and everyone in my part of the world is now entitled to work without fear or prejudice.  That’s the theory and policy, but in reality bullying and harassment are still evident.

Workplace bullying is seen as a genuine threat to occupational health and safety throughout Australia.  It can cause grave psychological injury and can destroy:

1.       a person’s ability to work

2.       their sense of self

3.       relationships at home and work

4.       productivity targets

The other costs of bullying include stress and absenteeism.

What is bullying? In Australia it is “unacceptable repeated behaviour that may cause harm”.  Unfortunately it seems to becoming endemic because of economic pressures and the institutional nature of many work cultures.

Unfortunately many work cultures have allowed bullying to exist because of a lack of resources, lack of accountability, poor people management skills, and poor management of policies and procedures.

Bullies are often insecure and afraid of being seen as incompetent.  They will do anything to survive even if it includes destroying the life of others.  In the end it is the leaders who must take a stand and ensure that all people are treated with respect .

Bullying is a form of assault and it is unlikely to stop until there are severe consequences for the bully.

Here some ideas from Family Matters - Practical Parenting Blog to manage bullying.

Remember  a bullying act against you is not your fault. Every bully is weak.

1. Never accept the belief that someone hurt you because of something you have (not) done
2. Stay away from them if you can.
3. Sometimes, you can’t  if it is your boss. In that case, lower your profile for a while and avoid friction until you find a solution.
4. Try to work with others in the same space. Bullies pick on you more when you are by yourself.
5. If you know of spaces that are targeted by bullies (toilet, eating area) go there with someone else.
6. Get to work earlier or later to avoid contact with them..
7. If a bully approaches you, say, "I need to go" and leave before they have a chance to say anything.
8. Do a good job, because that will limit the supply of ammunition bullies have against you. Remember that bullies look for weaknesses, so doing a great job is not a guarantee you will not be bullied, but this will give you some confidence to fight back. Much of your status in the workplace is based on the quality of your work.
9. Be accurate with your time. It will decrease the amount of ammunition bullies have against you.
10. Do not share secrets with people that may tell the bully.
11. Get along with your boss. Many times, the bully is the boss, so if you are on his or her side, you are not a target. Even when the bully is someone else, your boss can be your best ally at work.
12. There are many jobs out there. If things get out of control, find another job.
13. Learn to take things in proportion. Not every conflict at work is bullying.
14. If someone bribes you, be careful. This is a trap. When you have been bribed once, you have a weakness that can be exploited
15. When there is verbal bullying, ignore it! Do not say anything in return because this says you are vulnerable. This is how bullies know it affects you - they say it once and you get angry, so they he know this is your weakness.
16. Whatever happens, do not fight back!
17. Humour is a good way to diminish an act of bullying.
18. Do not take your anger and frustration out on your partner and kids.
19. Tell someone you trust about the bullying done to you.
20. Understand that telling on someone who is a bully is not ratting. If you do not do it for yourself, think of other people who might get hurt next.
21. When you walk, do not look at your feet. This sends a message to bullies that you are fearful and makes you a target. Pay attention to your body language in general, because looking slack or weak might trigger aggressive behavior in other people.
22. Look people in the eye, because it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
23. Smile a lot. Again, it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
24. Keep a journal. To prevent you from getting depressed, write your feelings and thoughts in a journal. Keep it safe and if you are afraid of it being seen, you can use the computer and put it in a document that no one can open. If you ever need to recall bullying events, your journal will be invaluable.
25. Learn to be assertive. Express your needs, thoughts and desires clearly, but without hurting anyone else. Assertiveness projects self confidence and keeps you away from bullies. This is a skill you will need for the rest of your life as well.
26. When you speak, keep a steady voice. If your voice breaks, it sends a message that you are afraid.
27. Never argue with a bully. Bullies create the conflicts to make you upset.
28. When you are scared, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" Often, you will realize that in the worst-case scenario, someone will say something unpleasant to you or about you, but it can be ignored, so it is not so bad.

Live! Love! Laugh!  Stay cool!

Roz Townsend

www.roztownsend.com

Intuitive morality

Hello Everyone

In Australia it is often assumed that people are more concerned about their own self–interest than the welfare of others. In fact in many sales programs there is a joke that people are tuned into the radio station 2WIIFM meaning – 2 What’s In It For Me?

Moral psychologists (did you know this is a new profession?) have been studying the political preferences of voters. Their research has thrown up an interesting finding namely that self-interest is a weak predictor of voters’ policy preferences. The reason seems to be that people care more about the group they belong to than themselves. It is their membership of their given social group (racial, religious, political or regional) and their loyalty to it that carries the most weight.

One researcher, Haidt from the University of Virginia has coined a new term ‘homo duplex’. By this he means that humans exist at two levels: as an individual and also as part of a larger group. It is our ‘groupishness’ which helps us be team players.

According to Haidt, one of the hardest problems humans face is cooperation without kinship. It seems to be instinctive to cooperate with direct relatives. But in the wider group there is a temptation for some members to enjoy the benefits of membership without contributing. Hence norms and morality evolved to ensure group cohesiveness.

The concerns for morality and group cohesion seem to cut across all cultures and groups – the difference is in their interpretation. For example all groups seem to be concerned about the issue of fairness versus cheating. All people should be rewarded or punished in proportion to their deeds. This plays out in drastically different ways in different cultures with some being totally in favour of capital punishment and others abhorring that level of punishment.

The research highlights the need to consider people in light of their context and circumstances. The importance of them maintaining or enhancing their status with their chosen group will be a major determinant in their behaviour. It won’t be just self-interest.

Live! Love! Laugh! Take care of others!

Roz Townsend

www.roztownsend.com

Is "away' just another word?

Hello Everyone

According to the Global Language Monitor and Google we now have more than a million words in the English language.

The millionth word was the controversial ‘Web 2.0′. Currently there is a new word created every 98 minutes or about 14.7 words per day!

Some other interesting numbers include: 6,912 for the number of living languages; 516 for the number of those languages that are nearly extinct.   Chinese Mandarin is the language with the greatest number of native speakers and English is spoken by about 300 million non-native English speakers.

With all of this interesting information about the English language, there is just one word that I would like you to consider right now.  The word is ‘away’.  We use this word with such abandon but very few of us have given any thought to the implications of its usage, especially if we looking at having a sustainable world.

We often say we are throwing something ‘away’ but I and other environmentally conscious people are asking where is away? 

When that challenge was first brought to my attention I was taken aback. I used the word as much as anyone else but had never really considered where is away?

In fact there is no ‘away’.  Many things we create on planet Earth do not go away.  They might change form or move to another area but they do not go away.  To even think they might disappear is doing our intelligence a great disservice!

You might like to consider over the next few days which other words we have taken for granted without really considering their implications.

                                 

Think!  Live!  Love!  Laugh!

 Roz Townsend