Narcissistic or Not?

Narcissistic or not?

Hello Everyone,

 What happens when we overpraise?   Research from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science indicates that overpraising children can cause them to be narcissistic.   A narcissistic child leads to a narcissistic adult.

 Narcissism, as you are probably aware is from Greek mythology.  Narcissus's vanity  was so great that when he fell in love with his own reflection in a pond he lost balance and drowned. 

Narcissism in children is thought to be either a defence mechanism  to help them cope with lack of parental attention, or the result of too much praise.

Brummelman from the University of Amsterdam believes narcissism is on the rise in the west.

The key point seems to be that we would be best advised to give accurate and loving feedback to others whether they are children or adults.  It does not do anyone a service to fudge or gloss over their mistakes/shortcomings.  Accurate, honest feedback with the intention of leaving the other person empowered will be far more effective. 

Valuing not overvaluing is best.

Roz Townsend  www.roztownsend.com

 

To read more of these ideas see Roz's latest books Future Words and Love Well available on Amazon.

Source http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/03/150309145019.htm

The Questionable Value of Narcissism

Hello Everyone
Do you or someone you know have an inflated or grandiose sense of themselves?  Do you, or others you know, think perhaps that you are special, unique, and entitled to better treatment than others?

Then perhaps you are part of the narcissism epidemic.  According to Twenge and Campbell in The Narcissism Epidemic.  The narcissism epidemic is happening at both the individual and cultural levels all around the developed world.

Narcissism is increasing and the book points out that there are many more highly narcissistic people now than just a decade or two ago.  It would appear highly likely that cultures are changing too. Increases in materialism, entitlement, public violence and aggression, self-promotion, and the desire for uniqueness are typical symptoms.

Some specific changes include an increase in: plastic surgery rates; credit card debt; the use of "my" in web addresses; the larger size of personal homes; reality TV shows; narcissistic song lyrics; and the fake paparazzi who can now be hired to experience what it’s like to be famous.

It is interesting to consider that the current economic crisis was, in part, caused by overconfidence and greed which are both key components of narcissism.   The global rebellion of ‘Occupy’ is a reaction to the greed of the wealthy with the emphasis on ‘what about me’.  Narcissism at both ends of the wealth continuum!

The costs of narcissism are high. As societies become more narcissistic there is an accompanying higher level of depression and disconnection.

Many  great philosophers and leaders have highlighted a paradox: we have more meaningful lives when we focus on the needs of others and take the emphasis off ourselves.   It is a concerning trend that whole cultures are becoming more narcissistic .  Narcissism is likely to become an insidious value of society, an addictive trait that might be so powerful that  we become blind to its impact on our true well-being.

Could we ever consider that we are just normal not special?  That we are no better –or worse than others?   Perhaps as the book suggests, we need to consider teaching our children not that "You have to love yourself before you can love others,” but rather you will be the happiest when you love others “If you love yourself too much, you won’t have enough love left for anyone else!”

Live! Love! Laugh!

Roz Townsend   www.roztownsend.com