Hello
Everyone
Did you know that:
You get to
choose who you are as a listener
The skills of extraordinary listening have
seldom been taught. Consider that you do not need to take your brain into a
‘random access’ mode when people are talking to you. You could choose to listen
in such a way that people love talking and sharing information with you. How
will you do this? This is where the deeper philosophical aspects of listening
come in. To do this takes a level of personal development and awareness requiring
the listener to go beyond their
egos. It goes into the area of creating
communication as a medium for peace and harmony on the planet.
Foundations of
extraordinary listening
What do I mean by this? Consider that people
do not say anything right or wrong- they just say what they say and either it
works or it does not work. If we don’t make people wrong when they are talking
to us they will feel more open.
Similarly how we listen will determine what
we are told.
Listen for
responsibility or passion Often when
people are talking they have an underlying passion or responsibility. A comment
by a parent to a 20 year old son or
daughter about their car such as ‘have you checked the tyres? What about the
oil?’ May not be meant to be intrusive and bossy but rather the underlying
message could be a parent being responsible saying in ‘code’ that ‘I love you,
stay safe!’
Listen for what they are
creating in the future – their possibility A comment like “I can’t tolerate the my job, I think I ‘ll leave”. This might be
a desire to work more productively or independently rather than being heard as
a complaint.
Listen for proaction
rather than reaction As in the above example, “I can’t tolerate the
my job, I think I ‘ll leave”. This might be a desire to take more control of
their life rather than be a victim.
Listen for the gems The
comment “Have you checked the oil?” could well be important for the longevity
and resale value of the car.
Listen to understand “I can’t tolerate the my job, I think I‘ll
leave”. Could elicit a response such as
“I did not know how bad the situation was becoming for you. Tell me more...”
These extraordinary filters will give you
extraordinary relationships at home and work. And they will take some action on
your part.
