Workplace Bullies

Hello Everyone

The focus of quite a bit of my work lately has been workplace bullying and harassment.  Times have changed and everyone in my part of the world is now entitled to work without fear or prejudice.  That’s the theory and policy, but in reality bullying and harassment are still evident.

Workplace bullying is seen as a genuine threat to occupational health and safety throughout Australia.  It can cause grave psychological injury and can destroy:

1.       a person’s ability to work

2.       their sense of self

3.       relationships at home and work

4.       productivity targets

The other costs of bullying include stress and absenteeism.

What is bullying? In Australia it is “unacceptable repeated behaviour that may cause harm”.  Unfortunately it seems to becoming endemic because of economic pressures and the institutional nature of many work cultures.

Unfortunately many work cultures have allowed bullying to exist because of a lack of resources, lack of accountability, poor people management skills, and poor management of policies and procedures.

Bullies are often insecure and afraid of being seen as incompetent.  They will do anything to survive even if it includes destroying the life of others.  In the end it is the leaders who must take a stand and ensure that all people are treated with respect .

Bullying is a form of assault and it is unlikely to stop until there are severe consequences for the bully.

Here some ideas from Family Matters - Practical Parenting Blog to manage bullying.

Remember  a bullying act against you is not your fault. Every bully is weak.

1. Never accept the belief that someone hurt you because of something you have (not) done
2. Stay away from them if you can.
3. Sometimes, you can’t  if it is your boss. In that case, lower your profile for a while and avoid friction until you find a solution.
4. Try to work with others in the same space. Bullies pick on you more when you are by yourself.
5. If you know of spaces that are targeted by bullies (toilet, eating area) go there with someone else.
6. Get to work earlier or later to avoid contact with them..
7. If a bully approaches you, say, "I need to go" and leave before they have a chance to say anything.
8. Do a good job, because that will limit the supply of ammunition bullies have against you. Remember that bullies look for weaknesses, so doing a great job is not a guarantee you will not be bullied, but this will give you some confidence to fight back. Much of your status in the workplace is based on the quality of your work.
9. Be accurate with your time. It will decrease the amount of ammunition bullies have against you.
10. Do not share secrets with people that may tell the bully.
11. Get along with your boss. Many times, the bully is the boss, so if you are on his or her side, you are not a target. Even when the bully is someone else, your boss can be your best ally at work.
12. There are many jobs out there. If things get out of control, find another job.
13. Learn to take things in proportion. Not every conflict at work is bullying.
14. If someone bribes you, be careful. This is a trap. When you have been bribed once, you have a weakness that can be exploited
15. When there is verbal bullying, ignore it! Do not say anything in return because this says you are vulnerable. This is how bullies know it affects you - they say it once and you get angry, so they he know this is your weakness.
16. Whatever happens, do not fight back!
17. Humour is a good way to diminish an act of bullying.
18. Do not take your anger and frustration out on your partner and kids.
19. Tell someone you trust about the bullying done to you.
20. Understand that telling on someone who is a bully is not ratting. If you do not do it for yourself, think of other people who might get hurt next.
21. When you walk, do not look at your feet. This sends a message to bullies that you are fearful and makes you a target. Pay attention to your body language in general, because looking slack or weak might trigger aggressive behavior in other people.
22. Look people in the eye, because it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
23. Smile a lot. Again, it projects confidence. Confidence is a bully repellent!
24. Keep a journal. To prevent you from getting depressed, write your feelings and thoughts in a journal. Keep it safe and if you are afraid of it being seen, you can use the computer and put it in a document that no one can open. If you ever need to recall bullying events, your journal will be invaluable.
25. Learn to be assertive. Express your needs, thoughts and desires clearly, but without hurting anyone else. Assertiveness projects self confidence and keeps you away from bullies. This is a skill you will need for the rest of your life as well.
26. When you speak, keep a steady voice. If your voice breaks, it sends a message that you are afraid.
27. Never argue with a bully. Bullies create the conflicts to make you upset.
28. When you are scared, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" Often, you will realize that in the worst-case scenario, someone will say something unpleasant to you or about you, but it can be ignored, so it is not so bad.

Live! Love! Laugh!  Stay cool!

Roz Townsend

www.roztownsend.com